The Date.

I decided a long time ago that I don't like going on dates, or the beginning of relationships. It's all one in the same to me. The awkward what-do-I-do-with-my-hands thing. The darting, nervous eyes. The knowing glances you get from strangers as you sit together, feeling the tension.

There's really nothing about dating that I enjoy. If I could skip all the awkward beginnings and move straight into the stage of 'I'm comfortable calling you my boyfriend', that would be great.

Am I supposed to date my best friend? Am I supposed to give strangers a try? It's all just so confusing. The dating my best friend is too brotherly for me. The stranger thing is too awkward. So, where does that leave me?

And did I mention the speed in which everything seems to move? Goodness, if I give a guy a smile he immediately tries to hold my hand, cuddle up next to me during a movie, make-out. It's all too hasty. And annoying. It seems as if there is no happy medium between who I date and what we do. There are too many expectations and more nervousness than I want to handle in a single situation.

After this angsty rant, I'm going on a date tonight. We're going to dinner. Maybe this one will change my mind. One can hope, yes?

[On a side note]

The worst date I've ever gone on lasted an entire day. And it wasn't just any day. It was Valentine's Day. We drove 2.5 hours to a monster truck rally. The car ride to and from was filled with nothing but gear-head talk that I pretended to understand. Not once did he ask about me. I wondered if I was just there so that he didn't have to look odd talking his head off to no one.

The semi-best date I've ever gone on went completely awry. We ended up at a dinky amusement park and ate icecream that dripped all over our arms and couldn't find the car for at least a half hour because there were apparently two parking lots that looked the same. And then when we came back to my apartment, he tried to make-out with me...which ruined it.