Epic Fail

I’ve never in my life taken a 100-question test standing up. It is certainly an experience, maybe even one that everyone should try at least once in their lives. The funny thing about taking classes on a ship is that the rules and regulations are so different, very lenient. For the Global Studies class that every student on this ship is automatically enrolled in, we had our first test/midterm today and it was a lot easier than expected. Of course I don’t study like a normal person – when it comes to memorizing/matching, I never memorize whole definitions. It’s more like I remember the first couple words in the definition, and I go by that, which is a really awful way to study, I realize. For this test, however, it worked. I felt hopeful until the dates and timeline came, and then my heart sank and I realized I know absolutely nothing about history. Nothing. Zip. Notta. Epic Fail.

So, back to the idea of taking a test standing up. For this Global Studies class, we received the test in our emails and had from 7AM-11:30AM to take it ANYWHERE ON THE SHIP, and then proceed to turn it in when finished. I actually laughed out loud because I thought the professor was joking. That idea is completely absurd, and with the kinds of people on this ship that I’ve encountered, every single one of them is going to cheat.

The thing about the UVA Honor Code is that it’s meant to be enforced. The reality about the UVA Honor Code is that it’s kind of a joke. People are taking the test in their rooms right now, huddling together in groups of ten trying to figure out where the Black Sea is on the map. It’s ridiculous. It’s illogical.

I realized that I did not install Adobe Reader on my computer to format the PDF file of the test on my laptop (sorry for the techie lingo, Moni). Basically, I could not take the test on my laptop, as planned, and I had an 8AM class and a 10:40 class this morning…and I needed to get the test finished sometime in between my sandwiched class schedule. So, I walked to the computer lab and to no avail, I walked right out. Students were crammed in every nook and cranny available, eyes like zombies staring at the screen in front of them. The library computers were also taken.

So I proceeded to go to the secret compartment in the middle of the ship that not many people realize is there ( I discovered it one day while trying to find the perfect studying spot), and it was empty. This compartment is basically a closet with two computers on a desk. It’s great for getting away from the masses of SASers. And there I was, standing up, pointing out places on the map like “The Levant Region”, and the “Aegean Sea”. I matched up Aristotle, and Sappho, and Lefkowitz. It was enlightening. I felt like a history major until I reached the dates, and you know what happened from there…

The other part of the Global Midterm was the essay. I don’t think I’ve ever written a fiction essay before when I was supposed to write a nonfiction one, but I can’t tell you how incredibly difficult it proved to be. First of all, we don’t get internet on the ship unless we want to use our “minutes”, which means no Google, or any other resource that I would normally use to do my research. This was not a research essay, but since I didn’t know a thing about the prompt (which had much to do with the lecture and readings for class, which I am very, very behind on) then it becomes the research essay that it should not be, if you get my drift. It took me five hours to write two pages full of BS…and believe me, it sounded very intelligent and was stylistically correct..but I’m pretty sure that Alexander the Great did not change the course of his journey because he found out that he was the son of a god (I think it just made him more confident in his identity). And I’m not so sure that my paper had any credibility to it whatsoever.

But. It’s turned in, my test is taken, and I am looking Venice in its beautiful face. It seems that to get through the tedious tests and impossible essays, I’m always dreaming about the upcoming countries…pretending I’m there and not in the middle of the Mediterranean sitting in a classroom. Believe it or not, people don’t study on the ship…I literally have to lock myself in my box of a room (with no porthole) and pretend that I’m at Behrend. If I don’t do that, I’m sitting outside on the 7th deck with my laptop and headphones, soaking in the hot, hot sun and letting that inevitable wind slap me in the face. No work, no work, no work is my mentality when I’m not locked in my room, as is everyone’s mentality here. That’s why they all came.

So, I’m going to pack and get ready to meet my other roommate at Behrend, Jenna, who will meet Michelle and I at the hostile in Venice. I’m going to go to the pre-port lecture, put my passport in a safe place, count my Euros and my blessings, and sleep… because there will be no sleeping in Italy. There will be eating, and eating, and beautiful people with night sky hair to mingle with, but no sleeping. Not a chance.

:) Over and Out.