Deuce to Love.

So, I've come to the realization (not recently, might I add, but rather over the course of my college career) that I profoundly miss the game. The game of spinning that worn grip between my palms, of scuffing my heels and bouncing my toes along the white lines of concrete or clay (if it was a special tourny). I even miss the mindgame, the anticipation of my performance, my opponents' performance, and keeping track of when to switch sides of the court. I miss seeing my family sitting in the bleachers, or behind the glass, silently cheering me on, begging me to keep my head in the game.

I miss tennis.

I devote my time to writing and reading now. I think in highschool I was much more well-rounded. I was in all of the musicals and I played tennis with vigor and ease, and I was on National Honor Society and a member of the Christian Club. I did things with my spare time.

Nowadays I laugh in the face of spare time. There is no 'spare time'. All of my time is devoted to my craft, to the honing and carving of my writing, my reading, my critiquing of others' writing and reading. And then the next day comes and I write and read some more. And I love it, don't get me wrong.

But I need something else. There's more to my life than my craft...because when I get tired of the writing and the reading, I need a break. I need tennis back in my life. It was this huge stress reliever, this chasing of ambition and exertion, this release of adrenaline and anger and sadness. It was my outlet for the longest time. And now I no longer have it when I need it the most.

I need the challenge of winning and losing, and keeping not only my mental skills sharp, but my physical skills in check. I am way out of shape, and I am slowly losing what was once my biggest love. I'm no longer quick on my toes, and I don't keep score like I used to, and I don't have anyone to play against that will be competitive with me, push me.

I need to get out of this tennis-less rut. I need my love back.