Everything is changing, moving, and I am in the middle, the only one standing still. I don't like it.
I came back to school so excited to be in the midst of friends, new english classes, an apartment. I came back ready to delve into this year head first, to tackle my days head on with enthusiasm and optimism. I came back and I knew things would be different... but I didn't expect the drastic changes in everything, everyone.
It's so hard for me to catch my breath around all the chaos and constant changing. I'm stressed. This is stressful. I guess I'm trying to find my place in the middle, while I'm standing still. Many people my age are getting engaged, married, having babies. Many more are moving on to jobs, graduating early, and here I am, wondering what I'm supposed to be doing.
It's all happening too quickly. So, I ask what now? I suppose I need to start looking at Internships, making new friends so that I actually have someone to live with next year. I need to figure out if I need to start checking out Grad schools, or if I can save enough money within these next two years to travel again right after college. I want to be a writer, not necessarily a bum on the street. I also want to be a writer, not the kind of person who gets a job doing something that I despise and regret.
I wish I could figure myself out; it's too hard watching the people around me moving on to other things, when I can barely move on to the next week without wondering how to catch up. I don't like being left behind.
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