I'm no good at keeping in touch. Anymore, I just plain ignore it. I purposely ignore the fact that my phone rings and rings and my Facebook wall fills up with posts asking me where I've been, what I'm doing these days.
Well? I suppose I'm just doing my own thing, whatever that is. I've been ignoring my Semester at Sea friends, and my Hughesville friends, and my college friends for no visible reason. This probably makes me sound like a complete and total idiot. What kind of person does this, you ask? Well, me. The kind of person who has no good reason to ignore the people who care about her. The kind of person who is afraid to keep in touch because she feels like everything is slipping away.
When everything, everyone spirals out of control..what else can I do? My arms are open as wide as they can get, and even then I can't grasp the situation, my relationships that are falling away faster than I can pick them all up.
I've been writing letters, trying to get myself back on track with people. I am not a phone kind of person, anyway. I see that you've called me, but I won't call you back. Sorry.
I just have this pessimistic outlook right now, and I can't shake it. Even the beautiful flowers that I bought for our kitchen table aren't going to make this go away. Delving into the five novels that I'm currently reading won't sweep me away from my life.
I need to get away, but even that has become impossible.
aeriale,
ReplyDeletei feel the same way. i'm cutting everyone out for some unfathomable reason. please read my first blog entry. you wanted me to start one!
btw, my family calls me gracie..but it's Liz.
ps. I forgive you, though i miss you too much i totally get it