put your hands up, she screams wildly.

My suitemate mentioned something tonight that sparked some "Hmmms", on my part at least. I was telling her about my job offer at Cedar Point for the summer, and how I felt terrified just thinking about it. I signed up to work with people. With millions of people from all over the place who need help and food and bathrooms and overall direction. I pressed the "YES, PLEASE!" button on my contract, and inevitably gave my summer over to human resources and smokin' hours, and did I mention millions of people?

Anyway, she said that I "boggled her mind" because she hasn't met very many people like me.

Of course, I asked her what that meant.

"Well, there are two types of people - those that hang back from scary situations, and those that knowingly dive right in because they want to. But you..."

I waited for her to continue, wanting to hear what she was getting at.

"You seem to dive into those situations that scare you the most. I just can't figure you out."

Then I laughed because everything she was telling me was so incredibly accurate. I can't figure myself out, and here she was, trying to pinpoint why I'm constantly, willingly diving out of my comfort zones head first, bring-it-on style.

I'm absolutely terrified to be in Ohio by myself for the summer. Let's be honest here - it's Freshman year of college all over again, minus the schoolwork, plus working 60 some hours a week. It's getting food from a cafeteria, wondering who the hell I'm supposed to sit with. It's sleeping in very close proximity with six or more complete strangers who may or may not speak very good english. It's never sleeping, actually.

And then you dare to ask, "So what the hell were you thinking?"

And my answer?

Because I like to push myself. I want to see how far I can hurl myself into this crazy world, how far I can stretch and tug at the boundaries before I splatter like chaos all over the pavement. I like to test myself, see what I can and cannot handle. I like to get my hands dirty with the unknown.

As much as I'm terrified and anxious and worried about going away for the summer to a "camp-like" setting, I'm just as excited. I guess it's "mind-boggling"...but then I wouldn't be me if that word didn't come up once in a while.