This blog post cost me $137.50.

{{Situation}}

About half-way home from Behrend into the arms of Spring Break, small-towns jog past, and I have not looked at my speedometer in, oh, about ten minutes. I'm in a trance-like stupor, hungry, music is loud and I'm alone. Cop blares siren and lights, heart pounds, and I pull over.

{{Conversation - what I think is not what I say}}

Cop: "How are you doing today?"

Me: You've got to be kidding me. Ugh. "Fine! Great. How about yourself?"

Cop: "Do you know why I stopped you?"

Me: Oh no. He knows about my broken taillight. I was going to get it fixed, I was going to go tomorrow! Maybe if I can just talk my way out of this, I won't get fined. They can't pull you over for broken taillights, can they? "No."

Cop: "You were going 69 in a 55."

Me: Crap. Crapcrapcrapcrap. Does he know about my taillight? Should I flip my hair or beg? What works best? This guy seems nice. Maybe he'll... "Oh. Sorry."

Cop: "Where are you coming from?"

Me: "Penn State Behrend. In Erie. I'm coming home for spring break." Ughhhhh. Why did I add in the part about spring break? Now he thinks I'm one of those speedy boozers who is jetting off to Cancun or something to pick up shady men and more alcohol than one person should ever consume. And I am not! I'm just going hoooooomeeee.... maybe if I tear up...? Think unhappy thoughts, think unhappy thoughts..

Cop: "Stay in the car, please. I'll be right back."

Me: Maybe he'll be generous. He knows I'm a college student. He knows I can't afford this crap. I smiled, I might have flipped my hair a little, I was extra polite. How can he not let me off easy?

...Why is everyone staring? You'd of thought they had never seen Cops or some other trashy jail show. It's not like I'm standing outside with my hands on my head.

...I wish he would turn off those lights. They are attracting wayyyy too much attention.

...Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

...I can't afford this. What the hell. Nothing like putting a damper on my week off.

...Sooooooo hungry. Maybe I have a mint somewhere? That might hold me over for another two hours. Whhhhhy didn't I pack any snacks?

{{Situation, again}}

I realize that I'm parked directly across from a church. There is a blinking sign right next to the parking lot that demands my attention.

Live what you say you believe

I slam my head against the seat and sigh. This is a sign. Of course. There couldn't be a better truth flashing at me while I sit and wait for the cop to hand me some damage.

{{Conversation, again}}

Cop, 20 excruciating minutes later: "I wrote you a citation for speeding. You'll find all the information and the ticket price at the bottom. You have ten days to pay or we'll send out a warrant for your arrest, so I suggest paying as soon as possible."

Me: ... now doesn't that seem a little excessive?

Me: "Okay. Thank you!" Wow. I actually thanked the man. I need some sleep. And some food. I'm being absurd. %#@&.

Cop: "Drive safe now, okay?"

Me: grumble, grumble, grumble. I really should get that taillight fixed...